Scottishtaoist's Blog

Santa’s iPod

Cal-o-riffic — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 16:20:02 +0000

Michael and I had to get the bus to nursery this morning because the car is in the garage.

He usually has a bag of grapes and he was looking forward to them until we got on the bus and who should be there handing out selection boxes – Santa.

“No want grapes,” said Michael, “me want chocolate.”

Sour grapes, Mum!

About five minutes later the driver’s mobile rings and he asks me if I’d pick up the thing on the floor.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Santa’s iPod,” came the answer.

Glasgow Tao:

Lifeiswhatyoumakeitbutshithappensandwhenitdoesjustsaytoyourself,ahfuckit

Cal-o-riffic — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:00:56 +0000

Spent most of Saturday decorating a tree that is too big for the front room. Hubby thought I didn’t trust him to get it right and went off in a huff hunter gatherer style to kill a tree. I could tell as he brought it in that it was too big but decided I’d better keep quiet.

Becky helped put up the decorations and little brother Michael helped take them off again. He also discovered the chocolate ones so we’ve had to keep them to the top.

To switch the lights on you have to crawl right under the tree to reach the socket and then manoeuvre you’re way back out in a way that avoids knocking decorations off and at the same time try not to stab yourself in the head with the pine needles. There probably won’t be any needles left by Christmas Eve.

On Sunday we went to see Santa and queued for ages in the damp and cold. Finally got to see the red bearded one and the photos of him and Michael are really good. The photographer has managed to capture Becky’s look of nonchalance perfectly. The look on her face tells you immediately that the whole situation is “like so totally uncool”.

On the way home her dad asked if she’d like to do the Christmas switch-on of the outdoor lights. Queue the tantrum when I pointed out that she couldn’t because the switch is in the garage and that’s out-of-bounds because that’s where the presents are stashed.

I’m a bad mum again – bah humbug!

Glasgow Tao:

Lifeiswhatyoumakeitbutshithappensandwhenitdoesjustsaytoyourself,ahfuckit

Hello world!

Cal-o-riffic — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 18:28:47 +0000

Now, as a Taoist I’m supposed to be non-violent but I have to admit that I almost came to blows with another human being today – but I blame religion.

My daughter has the blonde hair curse. Every Christmas it’s the same story. “You have blonde hair so you’ll make a perfect angel.”

Call me an atheist cynic but aren’t all angels perfect, except the devil?

Anyway, back to my daughter who’s always the angel, never Mary. Home she comes from school. “I need a pair of white tights for the nativity tomorrow.”

No pressure then – it’s 5.30 and the shops are shutting. A quick trip to the 24-hour supermarket draws a blank – there’s obviously a run on white tights this time of year (although hopefully not a bad one!).

The woman beside me has her daughter in tow who looks the same age as Becky and she’s bemoaning the fact that there aren’t any white tights. Then she announces that she’ll just go and get a newspaper then head along to Next to see if it’s still open.

Oh no you don’t I think, and I pan it along the road. I’m just picking the last pair of age 7 white tights off the display when she turns up alongside me and tuts in disgust. “You’re just going to have to wear the cream ones,” she says to her daughter who by this time is starting to cry.

Oh, I’m such a bad Taoist but according to Becky I’m a fab mum!

Glasgow Tao:

Lifeiswhatyoumakeitbutshithappensandwhenitdoesjustsaytoyourself,ahfuckit